Roadside Restroom

We've all been there at least once... "I HAVE TO GO POTTY... NOW!" Those frantic moments where you desperately search for a safe spot on the side of a highway or freeway to take your little one to relieve themselves. Why is it so easy for little kids and men to do? Why is it so much harder for women? LOL Here's the latest on this topic. ENJOY!

Kristin
Casualty #1: 3 year old has to pee. NOW. Highway offramp is as good a place as any

Alicia

Ahhh I can relate to that on one too many occasions. Dex had to take a roadside turd once

Dirt n Baths

Why do kids like to get dirty? And why do they not mind being dirty? Now granted, there are a few who mind, and they mind a LOT. Our kids are not part of the latter group. 

The following is a short conversation about kids n' dirt

Alicia

Here's my view. Why do kids love to get dirty?!?!?

Kristin

Haha no idea. You can do much in the dirt!

Alicia

I run out of ideas right after "get dirty". hahaha

Kristin

haha yeah watching that is like watching an hour and a half

of your night slipping through your fingers cuz (in my house

at least) bath time is a huge ordeal

To Teach a Kid to Poop

We all poop. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's a little, sometimes it's a lot. But we all do it. Even the pretty people do it. I think its something we all take for granted as adults because we forget how we figured out how to enjoy the toilet experience. That is until... you have children. Something about poop gets kids all weirded out! They love their poopy diapers, they love watching the poop go down the toilet, watching it come out of their cute little butts. Sometimes it's easy to teach them to use the toilet and other times... well.... its just not. The following is a mothers' toilet trauma

Kristin

How the hell do you get a three year old boy to poop

on the potty. Sweet mercy, I've tried everything

Alicia

LOL! I wish I could help! I nipped it in the bud when Dex 

was about 20 months and I've never had a problem with it.

Kristin

I think a lot of his fears have to do with an infection he had. Here's my current view.

Alicia

LOL!! Soooo CUTE! I always assumed they kinda felt 

like it was a part of them because its so big and firm. Like giving 

birth or something. HHAHAHAH It's the daredevil that I'm having a 

hard time with.

Kristin
Here's what I've resorted to

Step 1: Chocolate Frosting

Step 2: Look! Even Roby goes poop on the potty!

Step 3: See! Its Roby's poopy!

Alicia

OMG HILARIOUS AND GENIUS!

Skanked out

READER BEWARE

The images you are about to see might be disturbing to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

We are moms. We are moms who get tired once in a while. We are moms who occasionally indulge in A drink to relax (Before anybody judges, notice that says A drink... we are not moms who go around getting plastered on the front stoop while our babies are getting kidnapped in the back room). And sometimes... we don't get to take a shower... or even change clothes. If you haven't had one of these days then this might not be the blog post for you, but if you have... read on and take delight in the fact that you are NOT alone! You'll find an entire series of skankalicious photos and texts between two consenting adults. LOL

Kristin
Wow, ever have total skank days?

Alicia

That's a skank day? LOL
Girl that's nutn

Kristin
You can't smell me, fell my spiky
legs, or see my greasy ass herrr.

Alicia

One shaved, one NOT shaved. How bad is that?

And if that's what your skank is, I'm like that a good

portion of EVERY day! Here's my skank it up... 

One shorn leg, ashy knees, no bra, shirt I wore 

yesterday, yesterdays makeup.... I'm a hot mess

Left leg hairy, right leg shaved

Kristin
I always gauge it based on how much exposure to
the outside world I will realistically get. Clearly over
the last few days I've been living in a hole.

No more clients means skankpants!

Alicia

BWAHAHAHA That is EXACTLY what I do! LOL And it doesn't help that I can do the drive through pick up for Tae.

Here's my "I know I won't have contact with the outside world" outfit now that I'm done with clients

A GIANT skank! 

Kristin
I'm right behind ya. Just got back into town. Grabbing take out then its yoga pants city.

A weird skank. Ripple belly, leggins and UGGS. HOT

Alicia

That's me today, TOOOOOOTALLY skanked out. I even have makeup on believe it or not!

Kristin
You're a goofball

Alicia

I sacrifice my pride for the happiness
of others LOL

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

Any real mom knows how hard it is to keep a house clean when you have children and husbands running around. Breakfast, clean, snack, clean, lunch, clean, clean clean clean, dinner, clean and clean some more. Even working women can understand the woes of of the wife. Some of us are lucky and their husbands help out, but in the end, most of the cleaning falls on us (if we want it done right anyway).

The following chat is our Kitchen Confessional

Alicia

My house is a disaster right now! Even when I get it clean before

 bed, somehow in the morning I wake up to a nice mess again

Kristin

Okay so I'll show you my kitchen if you show me yours. 

Hahahahaha

Alicia

Oh, it's ON sistah! I'll send you a nice panoramic view! LOL

Kristin

Hahahahahaha Okay me too!!

Alicia

You asked for it!

The pic doesn't show the full spectrum of the crumbs and coffee

mug circle on the counter unfortunately, but trust me, they're

there! I usually wait till the kids are in bed before I do any serious 

kitchen cleaning because then I don't feel like I'm wasting time.

Kristin

Wow I'm impressed. I am mainly impressed with how much

counter space I see. Hahahahaha

Alicia

Hahahahah Well I try to keep it clear because it makes me feel

like I don't have as much of a battle. I just pile everything in 

the sink.

Kristin

K warning: I have a teeny galley kitchen so I did both sides

so you could get the real deal. Don't judge.

Alicia

That's NOTHIN! Pile all that stuff in the sink and you have

less than me!!! Your kitchen is gorgeous BTW.

MOM PROFILES • WHO ARE WE and WHAT IS THIS BLOG ALL ABOUT?

Yeah, I drink beer with lunch. So?

NAME: Kristin
AGE: 30
KIDS: Girl - Age 5/Boy - Age 3
OCCUPATION: Mom/Wife, duh. Oh, and I'm a photographer/graphic designer.
CURRENT MOM EXTREME: I've been putting chocolate frosting in the toilet after putting my son's bouncy horse on it to show him that even Rody goes poop on the potty. (Post coming.)
AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME YELL: Having to repeat myself more than two times.
RECENT "AWW" MOMENT: My daughter asked me to guess how much she loved me. She answered "the last number". My son asked the same thing and answered "29!"

                                    

Laundry or ice cream? Mmm.....ice cream.

NAME: Alicia
AGE: 32

KIDS: Girl - Age 8/Boy - Age 3.
OCCUPATION: Wife, mom, the usual... nothing fancy... I do eyelash extensions for women though, so that's fancy I guess...
CURRENT MOM EXTREME: Trying to create a month long menu complete with frozen crockpot meal-in-a-bag so I won't have to cook so much, and hopefully not clean as much either.
AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME YELL: A particular scream that sounds like someone is kidnapping them when I KNOW they're just playing
RECENT "AWWW" MOMENT: My little guy wanting me to hold him with the baby sling so I can work while I hold him. My daughter looking at a pic of her baby brother and saying to me "awwwww I miss him at that age!"

WHY DID WE START THIS BLOG?
This blog was started after we began texting each other on a daily basis the trials and tribulations of being a mom, wife and trying to remain sane. (Hey, all moms are aware of dreaded "Telephone Behavior". What did our moms do without texting? Just not talk to anyone, ever?) We started by texting each other pictures of our trashed kitchens as confessionals to make ourselves feel better. After a couple of months, we have a huge log of hilarious text conversations with photos and thought it was great fodder for a humorous mom blog. Original, right? Heh. Well, we are hoping it will develop into a place where other moms will find comfort in knowing they're not alone in their insanity because let's face it. We ARE those moms.